By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
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Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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