There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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