well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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