i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
