We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
