I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
