Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i will never coherently bang her
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
