dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
