Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
