ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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