I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
