I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
