It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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