marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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