i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
