about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
