just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Soap is not a condiment
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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