And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
