hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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