We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
