Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I cut my penus on the lid.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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