it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
