Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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