Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
