so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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