Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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