smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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