I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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