Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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