i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
