Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
