I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
