wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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