This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
