no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
