Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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