You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
