Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Randomize
