I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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