Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
