Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This baby is an asshole
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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