Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
