I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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