I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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