didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
