The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
