STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
