Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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