And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
