if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
wow bdsm is so cute
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
