my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
