I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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