just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
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What did I eat last night that was bloody?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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