where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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