well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
