Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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