last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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