FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
