nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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