So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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