so that wasnt chicken after all
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
