I just threw up on my dentist
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
